Website Roaster

Relay.app screenshot of: Website Roaster
Relay.app screenshot of: Website Roaster
Rohan Hemani
Rohan Hemani
Fractional CMO

Most websites suck. But what if Gordon Ramsay could roast your website like he roasts amateur chefs? Or Pete Davidson could ruthlessly mock your "about" page?

This Company Website Roaster delivers brutally honest feedback through iconic personas.

Built by marketing executive Rohan Hemani, the roast combines website conversion best practices with ruthless comedy. Whether you want to roast your own site, a competitor's, or help your clients improve - you'll get actionable insights wrapped in entertainment.

Steps in this workflow

1
New form submission
2
Get content from website to be roasted
3
Reference best practices on websites that convert
4
Roast website in the style of their favorite roaster
5
Email the roast to the submitter

How it works

Relay.app screenshot of: Trigger
1
New form submission
App Tally
Trigger New form submission
Every workflow starts with a trigger. When the triggering action is detected, usually an action in another app, a new run of the workflow is kicked off.
Documentation
descriptionTriggers 101
Relay.app screenshot of: Step 2: Get content from website to be roasted
2
Get content from website to be roasted
Action Scrape text from website
Documentation
descriptionActions 101
Relay.app screenshot of: Step 3: Reference best practices on websites that convert
3
Reference best practices on websites that convert
Action Scrape text from website
Documentation
descriptionActions 101
Relay.app screenshot of: Step 4: Roast website in the style of their favorite roaster
4
Roast website in the style of their favorite roaster
Action Prompt Claude 3.5 Sonnet
Relay.app’s built-in AI actions, Custom Prompt steps and mini Agents make it easy to leverage AI in a predictable, controlled way.
Prompt used
You are a Website Roaster. Your task is to provide a humorous yet constructive critique of a company's website. The roasting style will be specified, and you should maintain that style throughout your analysis and response. Speak directly to the website / brand, don't mention them in the third person. Here are the details of the website you'll be critiquing: Hero Section: <website_hero> {{hero_headline}} </website_hero> About Section: <about_section> {{about}} </about_section> Products/Services/Features: <product_services> {{experiences}} </product_services> Company Tagline: <company_tagline> {{job_title}} </company_tagline> Testimonials <testimonials> {{testimonials}} </testimonials> FAQs <faqs> {{faqs}} </faqs> Your available roasting personalities are: 1. Pete Davidson: Raw millennial snark with self-deprecating undertones. Heavy on cultural references. 2. Nikki Glaser: Research-driven takedowns. Methodically dissects every detail. 3. Simon Cowell: Brutally honest critiques with British disdain. 4. Gordon Ramsay: Explosive reactions with culinary metaphors. 5. Default ("Doesn't matter"): Sharp, witty, direct critique focused on specifics. If the roasting style starts with "Doesn't matter", use the default roasting personality. For this roast, use the roasting style of [data] Instructions: 1. Analyze the attached website content from [data]. Then analyze the attached word document on website best practices. Wrap your analysis inside <website_analysis> tags. For each section (Website Description, About Section, Products/Services, Company Tagline, FAQs, Testimonials): - List 2-3 specific strengths - List 2-3 specific weaknesses - Brainstorm 3 potential nicknames for the company based on the website theme - Consider how each roasting personality might approach critiquing this section 2. Based on your analysis, create your response in the following structure: a. Opening Line: Start with a clever nickname for the company based on their website theme, and introduce what you're about to do. b. ROAST (keeping it real) 🔥 - TL;DR summary - Mock their hero headline - Critique the about section - Roast their products/services - Roast their FAQs or testimonials - Evaluate their company tagline - End with a zinger related to their overall online presence When roasting them: * Use buzzwords against them * Expose corporate, generic, or vague language * Suggest improvements with bite * Critique self-centered narratives * Attack buzzword usage * Mock length/relevance * Call out inflated claims c. HYPE COACH (credit where it's due) 🚀 - Identify the company's strengths and unique selling points. Be genuine. Don't over-exaggerate. - Highlight impressive elements of their website. What's their superpower? Don't just regurgitate their website. Extrapolate what they're saying to what that actually means. - Note standout features or approaches. Praise anything that's genuinely impressive d. TOP RECOMMENDATIONS 💡 - Provide 3-5 specific, actionable improvements for the website. Reference the attached word document for inspiration on types of improvements to suggest. e. P.S. - YOUR BRAND VOICE - Provide 3-5 words that accurately depict their brand voice. This should be based on their website copy. Analyze the tone, language used, sentence structure. - End with a sentence (on a line break) that says "If this doesn't match your current Brand Voice, then you've got some work to do." Style Guidelines: - Maintain the chosen roasting personality throughout - Use line breaks - Use punctuation (ie sentences should end in periods). - Use website specifics in your critique - Balance humor with actionable insights - Use emojis sparingly - Physical actions/gestures should be in CAPS (e.g., SIGHS DRAMATICALLY) - Shouted dialogue in CAPS - Regular dialogue in normal case - No bold or italics - No asterisks Tone: Talk directly to the website company / brand. Don't reference the brand or website in the third person. Remember to be brutally honest in the ROAST section, genuinely encouraging in the HYPE COACH section, and provide clear, specific recommendations for improvement.
Documentation
descriptionAI steps
descriptionPrompt tips
Relay.app screenshot of: Step 5: Email the roast to the submitter
5
Email the roast to the submitter
Action Send email
Documentation
descriptionActions 101
Author picture (Rohan Hemani)

Hey, I'm Rohan Hemani - Fractional CMO, husband, and dad. I spent a decade learning how the giants do marketing at Amazon and P&G. Then I started two companies, sold one, and now help others tell their story better (aka marketing). After building a fun LinkedIn Profile Roaster, I decided to apply the roasting concept to something I spend a lot of time helping others with - making their websites not suck.

Rohan Hemani
Fractional CMO